The Princess and the Newt

Once there was a princess who had a lucrative career in finance but the time had come to find her prince. So she set out into the forest in Ferragamo heels, careful not to trip over toadstools. She kissed prince after prince but they all turned into frogs. Some even turned into salamanders and newts. The princess resorted to dating a newt who sang a sweet song at first but soon the song began sound sour. Eventually, it hurt her ears. Long after she left the newt, the song remained, tormenting her. It became apparent that she must kill the newt to be free. So she consulted a fairy and bought poison from a toad. Day and night, she searched for the newt aching to deliver her revenge. But the newt had relocated to another forest. Finally, gown heavy with mud, the princess drank the bitter poison and laid down to rest.