Back in Bangkok. I love this city and its circus-like ways. It is at once exhilaratingly fun but also has a dark side, a certain je ne sais quoi. Trying to understand it is fascinating.
I went to see kickboxing. I watched the last four competitions. I expected blood spurting from mouths and fighters collapsing to the ground unconscious. But it was more elegant. Each match is begun with a little ritualistic dance. One boxer does a little crane-like pose in the middle, flapping his arms and the other dances around him. I imagine this has two purposes: places are sacred here, belonging and inhabited by named deities who must be acknowledged and shown deference. Also, it must calm the boxers a bit, clearing their minds.
The men are young. Thai people look young to me in general but these are teenagers it seems. They are extremely lean and chiseled. As flexible as they are quick and strong. Well-balanced. They kind of dance around each other, bouncing one knee to seem like they are going to kick. They watch each others' legs. They kick quick and efficiently, too fast for my camera's speed. They get each other in a lock, face-to-face and jab each other repeatedly with their knees. The last fighters are much more talented than the first. You can see the progression of the learned boxer as the night goes on. In the world of fighting, kickboxing is not so brutal or pretentious but more elegant. That said, I would not want to be in the way of one of those powerful kicks!
I took a tuk-tuk to Patpong afterward. The red light district. Bars of half-naked girls doing nameless x-rated things. I will not go into details. I want to tell you about the girls I met. I am not curious about this scene, it is vulgar to me personally, but also simply a matter of supply and demand attracting perverse mostly-male desires. When I am traveling, and I want to understand what motivates a city to become itself. Disclaimer: There is nothing truly naughty in this entry, only my attempts to research a culture I do not understand.
I was approached by four girls at once. Female flirtation is much more pleasant than male to me, they touch your arm or your knee and you feel no fear as you would if a male entered your space in the same way. Voices cooing, they are beautiful creatures. I told them I like men and they stopped, two deciding to sit and hang out with me at the bar. They have stage names--Anna and Li--but tell me their real ones as well. I ask them simple questions like how long they have been working in this part of town, etc. Li looks 16 but tells me she is 24. The other Anna is well in her thirties. Anna wants to know what it is like to date in America and I give her details. Li is shocked when I tell her I'm not looking for a husband at this point but am more focused on studying. I ask if they make good money here, if they girls get along with each other. No and no. They are mostly looking to meet a farang, the word for the ex-pat white male, to sweep them off their feet. The thai sex worker's version of Prince Charming. How is my presence perceived here? I got my answer when one of their colleagues threw a banana at me. Okay, time to go. I left Li and Anna a big tip for their time. I cannot stay in these bars for long. As I said, their obviousness is vulgar to me.
I headed back across town to Khoa San Road, more my scene. I'd planned to go to a club in Patpong known for its decent electronica but I couldn't stay around all the sex. Bleh.
I have a Mai Thai in one of the more laid back place with a view of the backpackers getting harassed by frog girls and drunk kids chowing down on phad thai from the street vendors. I'm sitting quietly next to two thai women who smoke and slip thai whiskey into their cups from a bottle kept in a purse. One starts talking to me and eventually I join them.
They are sex workers, both in their 30s, preferring to work in a less scandalizing environment. They are really cool ladies, named Ah and Ming. They own a bar together just outside of town and it being a Monday night, they are away from the bar trying to meet farangs. I hung out with them for a while, not sure if my presence is helping their cause or if they just want to chat with an american girl. At one point, Ah leans over and says "clear chair, clear chair." A white guy checking the table out is coming over and my bag was occupying the fourth chair. I pick it up and he hesitates and walks away. They tell me that they would never date a thai man. "A woman has to look out for herself. Thai guy don't make enough money." I nod. It seems falling for a local guy limits their potential to be the girlfriend or even wife of a farang, who comes baring euros or the ever-falling american dollar and a promise for a priveleged life.
The Farang
There is a common conversation foreigners have in Thailand and se asia, "Look at all the old white men with the young girls!" This is a "poor little things!" sentiment. I don't know though.
I am a feminist to the core but not in the stereotypical sense. Every person should have the same opportunities to become the person s/he wants to become. This is the feminist ideal people ignore in favor of hairy legs and bra-burning. I like being feminine and girly and it is my choice to be this way. Women can be lawyers, politicians doctors or sex workers or stay-at-home moms. These are all ambitions that I consider equal. Just as I want to be a doctor and express my femininity, I want the woman next to me to fulfill her dreams to have the picket fence and recipe box and play-dates. How fortunate to be born an woman in a culture and age that allows these options.
I automatically give this farang, this white man, dirty looks. One morning at breakfast in KL, one sat down with me and we talked. He has an apartment and second life in Bangkok, leaving his failed marriage and grown children in the UK. I tell him I think that Bangkok has a dark side that I don't understand and I feel bad that so many women have limited opportunities for education and rely on men like him to bring them happiness. He doesn't like me. This is not a bad man. He has his second apartment in Bucharest where he cares for Romanian orphans. That is another entry though. I will tell you that he pointedly told me that the romanian orphans are two-years ahead of america in their primary education. This conversation was heated. Anyway, he spends several months a year in Bangkok, his play-city. The farang told me that he thought his presence awarded these woman a way out of the society they were born into.
Most people don't realize it but the thai sex worker industry is kept going by 95% THAI male clients. I believe these stats are for the female workers and not the ladyboys though. The ladyboy customer is largely white males from the west and Australia.
So sitting with Ah and Ming, I learn that they don't want to leave Thailand. They've never been farther than a few hundred km outside of bangkok. But they want a white boyfriend to take care of them here. The farang is a common fantasy here, achieved by lucky few.
Ah tried to tell me that she considers her occupation as her right and asserts this is her life choice. I smile. She is talking to the right girl. Sometimes I go into a preachy mode--something I hate about myself--but the few things I believe in, I believe strongly. I start telling her that we are on the same page. I tell her that it's her body and her chosen career and that there should be services available to her to get regular testing, medication should she need it, childcare, etc. I don't shut up for a long time. Ah and Ming are smiling and they ask for my email. I am friends with thai sex workers.
I asked how much they make in a night on average. It varies, as does the fake fendi in thailand which foreigners pay anywhere from 30 to 300 baht. Once a British guy gave Ming 300,000 baht, about 270 USD. This was huge. The price drops considerably if she likes him or sees the potential of him becoming her boyfriend. They don't have a pimp. They work together, looking out for each other. The bar is an investment against aging. When climbing age means falling dollars, the bar will be there.
It's late and I take off to go to bed, feeling a little enlightened about the many ways the world's women look after their own.
I went to see kickboxing. I watched the last four competitions. I expected blood spurting from mouths and fighters collapsing to the ground unconscious. But it was more elegant. Each match is begun with a little ritualistic dance. One boxer does a little crane-like pose in the middle, flapping his arms and the other dances around him. I imagine this has two purposes: places are sacred here, belonging and inhabited by named deities who must be acknowledged and shown deference. Also, it must calm the boxers a bit, clearing their minds.
The men are young. Thai people look young to me in general but these are teenagers it seems. They are extremely lean and chiseled. As flexible as they are quick and strong. Well-balanced. They kind of dance around each other, bouncing one knee to seem like they are going to kick. They watch each others' legs. They kick quick and efficiently, too fast for my camera's speed. They get each other in a lock, face-to-face and jab each other repeatedly with their knees. The last fighters are much more talented than the first. You can see the progression of the learned boxer as the night goes on. In the world of fighting, kickboxing is not so brutal or pretentious but more elegant. That said, I would not want to be in the way of one of those powerful kicks!
I took a tuk-tuk to Patpong afterward. The red light district. Bars of half-naked girls doing nameless x-rated things. I will not go into details. I want to tell you about the girls I met. I am not curious about this scene, it is vulgar to me personally, but also simply a matter of supply and demand attracting perverse mostly-male desires. When I am traveling, and I want to understand what motivates a city to become itself. Disclaimer: There is nothing truly naughty in this entry, only my attempts to research a culture I do not understand.
I was approached by four girls at once. Female flirtation is much more pleasant than male to me, they touch your arm or your knee and you feel no fear as you would if a male entered your space in the same way. Voices cooing, they are beautiful creatures. I told them I like men and they stopped, two deciding to sit and hang out with me at the bar. They have stage names--Anna and Li--but tell me their real ones as well. I ask them simple questions like how long they have been working in this part of town, etc. Li looks 16 but tells me she is 24. The other Anna is well in her thirties. Anna wants to know what it is like to date in America and I give her details. Li is shocked when I tell her I'm not looking for a husband at this point but am more focused on studying. I ask if they make good money here, if they girls get along with each other. No and no. They are mostly looking to meet a farang, the word for the ex-pat white male, to sweep them off their feet. The thai sex worker's version of Prince Charming. How is my presence perceived here? I got my answer when one of their colleagues threw a banana at me. Okay, time to go. I left Li and Anna a big tip for their time. I cannot stay in these bars for long. As I said, their obviousness is vulgar to me.
I headed back across town to Khoa San Road, more my scene. I'd planned to go to a club in Patpong known for its decent electronica but I couldn't stay around all the sex. Bleh.
I have a Mai Thai in one of the more laid back place with a view of the backpackers getting harassed by frog girls and drunk kids chowing down on phad thai from the street vendors. I'm sitting quietly next to two thai women who smoke and slip thai whiskey into their cups from a bottle kept in a purse. One starts talking to me and eventually I join them.
They are sex workers, both in their 30s, preferring to work in a less scandalizing environment. They are really cool ladies, named Ah and Ming. They own a bar together just outside of town and it being a Monday night, they are away from the bar trying to meet farangs. I hung out with them for a while, not sure if my presence is helping their cause or if they just want to chat with an american girl. At one point, Ah leans over and says "clear chair, clear chair." A white guy checking the table out is coming over and my bag was occupying the fourth chair. I pick it up and he hesitates and walks away. They tell me that they would never date a thai man. "A woman has to look out for herself. Thai guy don't make enough money." I nod. It seems falling for a local guy limits their potential to be the girlfriend or even wife of a farang, who comes baring euros or the ever-falling american dollar and a promise for a priveleged life.
The Farang
There is a common conversation foreigners have in Thailand and se asia, "Look at all the old white men with the young girls!" This is a "poor little things!" sentiment. I don't know though.
I am a feminist to the core but not in the stereotypical sense. Every person should have the same opportunities to become the person s/he wants to become. This is the feminist ideal people ignore in favor of hairy legs and bra-burning. I like being feminine and girly and it is my choice to be this way. Women can be lawyers, politicians doctors or sex workers or stay-at-home moms. These are all ambitions that I consider equal. Just as I want to be a doctor and express my femininity, I want the woman next to me to fulfill her dreams to have the picket fence and recipe box and play-dates. How fortunate to be born an woman in a culture and age that allows these options.
I automatically give this farang, this white man, dirty looks. One morning at breakfast in KL, one sat down with me and we talked. He has an apartment and second life in Bangkok, leaving his failed marriage and grown children in the UK. I tell him I think that Bangkok has a dark side that I don't understand and I feel bad that so many women have limited opportunities for education and rely on men like him to bring them happiness. He doesn't like me. This is not a bad man. He has his second apartment in Bucharest where he cares for Romanian orphans. That is another entry though. I will tell you that he pointedly told me that the romanian orphans are two-years ahead of america in their primary education. This conversation was heated. Anyway, he spends several months a year in Bangkok, his play-city. The farang told me that he thought his presence awarded these woman a way out of the society they were born into.
Most people don't realize it but the thai sex worker industry is kept going by 95% THAI male clients. I believe these stats are for the female workers and not the ladyboys though. The ladyboy customer is largely white males from the west and Australia.
So sitting with Ah and Ming, I learn that they don't want to leave Thailand. They've never been farther than a few hundred km outside of bangkok. But they want a white boyfriend to take care of them here. The farang is a common fantasy here, achieved by lucky few.
Ah tried to tell me that she considers her occupation as her right and asserts this is her life choice. I smile. She is talking to the right girl. Sometimes I go into a preachy mode--something I hate about myself--but the few things I believe in, I believe strongly. I start telling her that we are on the same page. I tell her that it's her body and her chosen career and that there should be services available to her to get regular testing, medication should she need it, childcare, etc. I don't shut up for a long time. Ah and Ming are smiling and they ask for my email. I am friends with thai sex workers.
I asked how much they make in a night on average. It varies, as does the fake fendi in thailand which foreigners pay anywhere from 30 to 300 baht. Once a British guy gave Ming 300,000 baht, about 270 USD. This was huge. The price drops considerably if she likes him or sees the potential of him becoming her boyfriend. They don't have a pimp. They work together, looking out for each other. The bar is an investment against aging. When climbing age means falling dollars, the bar will be there.
It's late and I take off to go to bed, feeling a little enlightened about the many ways the world's women look after their own.
1 comment:
Katie, I just started to read your blogs. I got your email this morning. I don't want to put it down! You have an amazing writing style. You should be writing novels by an ocean , not becoming grossly in debt saving peoples' lives! Ok , that may be a wee bit selfish but you should start to write for public viewing. The Farang story of course fascinated me. I have just sen the pictures of elephants below so I am off to read that. They are my favorite animal. Oh by the way, kick boxing is such a nice sport. I am glad you liked it.
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